Bright Spots

Cape Cod Weather Today: Overcast and *warm* - okay, it's 40 degrees, but it feels like a heat wave after the last several days in the teens and twenties. Yesterday was bright and sunny, but only 21 degrees with a chill wind. Today feels balmy and springlike, but like it's gonna rain any minute...

I should be busy working on my revisions - I told my editor I'd have them back to her by the end of the week - but I'm taking a few minutes to chat, especially since my dad says he checks my blog every day for new posts.

Hi Dad!

I received yet another rejection today on my middle grade fantasy, but it was a *really* nice one, urging me to seek another opinion, hopefully from someone with room on his/her roster. My "work certainly has merit, it simply isn't right for his list."

Right after getting home from the post office with that in hand, I read Janet Reid's blog, about going to a book reading and signing, where the author recognized her name. She had rejected his manuscript, saying it had merit, but she didn't know how to sell it. Another agent obviously did. And sold it to a great editor at a big publishing house. And here the author was, signing books for a standing-room only crowd in NYC.

The other "bright spots" in my week were actually in my eyes.

Tuesday night, I had an "occular episode" where I saw a halo of prisms surrounding my vision. It only occured in my left eye, not my right, but the effect was amazing - the rainbow sparkles and distortion of light were fascinating to watch, like when a child squints at the nightlight after bedtime and makes the light sparkle between their eyelashes... it was kinda fun, until the rainbows wouldn't go away.

Then I started to worry.

The sparkling lights lasted for almost twenty whole minutes, before disappearing a suddenly as they arrived. Needless to say I was a little freaked out by it all. I was left with normal vision, but a dull headache, which continued all day yesterday as an unsettled, headachey, oh-no-not-the-flu-again feeling.

I called my doctor. She told me to call an eye doctor Immediately for an Emergency appointment. I got scared.

I looked online for possibilities. Stroke... Hemmorage... Tumor... Retinal Tearing... Retinal Detachment... Surgery... Loss of Eyesight...

Scary. With great trepidation I drove myself to the doctor's office, wondering the whole time if I should even be driving with all the horrible possibilities that could be going on inside my head. Also nagging at me were the revisions sitting on my computer, which hurt to look at. Would I be able to write again? Today? Ever?

Turns out, I'm fine.

According to the eye doctor, what I experienced was an "occular migraine." Not common, but not all that uncommon. There was even a pamphlet about it in the waiting room. They thoroughly checked my vision and the muscles around my eyes for damage, but there was none. I'm fine. My vision is fine. It may happen again, it may not. Should it happen again, I'll know what it is, but they say I should still get it checked out next time, too.

But first I'll enjoy the rainbows, knowing they're not harbingers of doom. Only sparkling lights.

Back to Work

Cape Cod Weather Today: Sunny and brisk, 21 degrees, with cotton ball clouds floating by. The sun is rising brightly, and I have high hopes that by the time I need to walk the dogs it'll be warm out there... but that's what I thought yesterday too, not accounting for the chilling wind... brrr... c'mon springtime...

The edits finally came back at the end of last week, during school vacation, so they are still languishing on my computer, waiting for me to open the document and read through what the editor has changed this time around. (I had to get the kids back to school first, before I could think about actual writing work.)

The process is at times painful, but they are minor little pains, not as bad as paper cuts.... a phrase here, a small scene there, add and expand this part... her notes say that I "fixed"most everything in the last round of edits, and this time it's a matter of repeated words or overused adjectives...

But hopefully I'm nearing the end of the path on this process. As my first time through it all, everything seems to take longer than I had imagined. Just like when I finish a manuscript and say "Okay, I'm ready for someone to love this!" and then the rejections start trickling in, slowly chipping away at my sense of self.

For anyone reading this who has experienced this kind of rejection, there's a great website for inspiration called the Write Attitude, at www.writeattitude.net . There are quotes from famous authors and stats on how many times award winning books were rejected before someone finally saw the potential. Plus there are great photos and inspiring music. So if you start getting down on yourself and thinking about quitting, check it out. Or join a writing group to encourage you - everything's easier when you can share your pain.

Winter is hard enough without a big dose of rejection on the side. With the warmer weather approaching, hope springs eternal. Whatever that means.

Enough rambling. I need to get to work.

February Vacation

Cape Cod Weather Today: Partly Cloudy and 30 degrees, but those clouds are still spitting flakes of the white stuff down onto my neighborhood... we got a few inches overnight, enough to blanket the trees and grass, but not enough to really build a snowman...

Is the phrase "February Vacation" an oxymoron or just a cruel joke?

At the very least, it's a misnomer for parents everywhere. Kids home, none of the regular activities, extra-special activities to organize... yeah, no vacation for the parents. But a well-needed break for the kids. Well, I guess my alarm isn't going off at 5:30 a.m. either, so a break for me too. In a way.

I did have things planned, but then the stomach flu which was ravaging the elementary school found its way into my home and devastated not only my Valentine's Day, but ruined my Girl Scout Skating Day and destroyed my Museum of Science Day with my sisters and kids. The flu stinks. Figuratively as well as literally.

The worst part about a vacation week at home is having the kids in your face all day long. The best part about a vacation week at home is spending time with your kids. Go figure. I really enjoy the time we have to walk on the beach together and talk, to catch up on not only what's going on in school but what's going on in their heads. I'm always surprised by how much is twirling around in their inner universes.

Yesterday I dragged my eldest to the mall with me to return a microwave oven (don't ask) but the car ride and the time spent sitting in the food court were really nice - even if we were eating awful mall food. He relaxed, smiled, told jokes... I really like my kids as people, which is amazing to me. Maybe it shouldn't be, but it always is.

At the end of the week we'll go on a trip to give them something to talk about when they get back to school and have to write the inevitable essay on "What I did over vacation." In the mean time, I think I'll just enjoy hanging out with them, playing games and talking about whatever pops into their little heads. Which is a lot more than you would ever imagine.

triskaidekaphobia is my friend...

Cape Cod Weather Today: Mostly Cloudy, 38 degrees, the gusty winds are mostly gone but it still feels like spring is trying to break into February....

Triskaidekaphobia.

The fear of the number 13.

As in, today is Friday the 13th.

But... as a graduate of Colgate University in upstate New York, the number 13 is now my lucky number. As the legend goes, Colgate was founded by 13 men with 13 dollars in 1819 (okay, they were 6 years late for a real trifecta...) My brother-in-law's birthday is today, right on Friday the 13th. My husband was also born on the 13th of another month, although his mother says she doesn't remember if it was a Friday or not...

So this Friday the 13th should bring luck, and good things. It's at least bringing Valentine parties to my children in their classrooms. And it's bringing my husband home from a week long business trip (only 4 days long, not 13) So maybe it will bring happy portends on other fronts as well. I'm still waiting to hear om a number of agents to see whether they want to read more of my story (maybe there are 13 of them on that list? I should check!) And another wonderful surprise arrived last night while I was at my writing class (only 4 of us showed up, not the usual 13 people) - - my father sent me flowers for Valentine's Day - a baker's dozen bouquet of pink and red tulips (and we all know a bakers count up to lucky 13...)

So get over your fear of Friday the 13th.

It's just a number, people.

And some consider it lucky.